At Growth By Design, we believe intentional choices lead to impactful growth, whether you're shaping a thriving organization or a meaningful life. Here, we provide the practical information, tools, and frameworks to get you there. Today we’re exploring the second phase of the human behavior change continuum to better understand what drives our ability to change our behavior and sustain it over time. 

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We’re two weeks into January – how are your New Year’s Resolutions coming along? Are your crushing your goals? Is it starting to feel hard? Have you abandoned them after one missed day? Did you set any in the first place? Wherever you are on this continuum, you’re in good company. There are plenty of goals I set and accomplish, set and abandon, or really should set but punt to future me.

This is the second part of a 5-blog series where together we will walk through the five stages of the transtheoretical model of behavior change. Today, let’s discuss the second stage: contemplation.

What Contemplation Really Is

Contemplation is the stage where you acknowledge a change might be needed but feel ambivalent and stuck in “on the one hand… on the other hand…” This is where many New Year’s resolutions live – and die.

In contemplation, you recognize that your current behavior may be problematic and seriously consider changing within the next 6 months. You see both the benefits of changing and the comfort of staying the same, which creates emotional and cognitive tension.

“People are beginning to recognize that their behaviour is problematic, and start to look at the pros and cons of their continued actions.”

Think of the leader who says, “I know we need clearer goals and expectations, but we’re too busy to slow down and realign.” The “yes, but” is textbook contemplation.

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“It doesn’t matter when we start. It doesn’t matter where we start. All that matters is that we start.”

– Simon Sinek

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Why Contemplation Is Risky for Goal Setting

The danger of contemplation is chronic delay, or what I like to call “maybe purgatory”. You become a professional planner and a reluctant doer. Overthinking replaces action, and the “perfect time” conveniently never arrives.

Research on the Transtheoretical Model suggests that people often linger in this stage for long periods, sometimes years, unless something shifts their decisional balance (the perceived pros and cons of change). Sometimes this comes from something just “clicking”, but often the decisional balance shifts after a major (and likely negative) event. A health crisis that now forces one to take action on improving their health, or the loss of someone close that makes one reexamine their priorities are a couple examples of when the universe forces action on those who have dwelled too long in contemplation.

Evidence: Decisional Balance and Self-Efficacy

So how do we proactively move out of contemplation without the loving yet forceful hand of fate? TTM-based studies show that movement from contemplation to preparation is accompanied by:

• Increased perceived benefits of the desired change
• Decreased perceived cons of taking action toward the change
• Gradually rising confidence (self-efficacy) to change

As the pros begin to outweigh the cons, readiness increases and people become willing to experiment with concrete plans and small steps.

Practical Steps You Can Take Today To Get You Out of Maybe

When you are stuck in “maybe,” the work is to make your ambivalence visible and then gently tilt it toward change. Here are a few things I love to do when I feel stuck in maybe:

• Create a “Pros and Cons” inventory
  • Split a page into four quadrants: Pros of Changing, Cons of Changing, Pros of Staying the Same, Cons of Staying the Same.
  • Fill each quadrant with at least 5 items. Look especially at the “Cons of Staying the Same.”
• Name your fears with precision
  • Instead of “I’m afraid it won’t work,” specify: “I’m worried about wasting time,” or “I’m worried I’ll look inconsistent to my team.”
  • Specific fears are easier to design around than vague anxiety.
• Connect your goals to identity
  • Ask, “What kind of person/leader do I want to be in 3 years?” and “Which behaviors today move me toward or away from that identity?”
• Set a decision deadline
  • Pick a specific date within 30 days when you will either commit to a concrete next step or consciously postpone, instead of drifting.

How Leaders Can Support Contemplators

In organizations, contemplation shows up as teams that agree in principle but stall in practice. As a leader, it is your job not to crank up the heat on those stuck in contemplation, but rather gently partner with them to nurture the self-efficacy necessary for a successful and sustained change. If you notice a team member or two languishing in maybe, I invite you to try these tactics:

• Use Socratic questioning
  • Research on TTM suggests that in this stage, a “Socratic teacher” style (asking, not telling) helps people examine their beliefs and assumptions.
  • Ask, “What would happen if we did nothing for another year?” or “What small experiment feels safe enough to try?”
• Share data plus meaning
  • Pair metrics (turnover, engagement, missed deadlines) with the story of what they mean for people’s day-to-day experience.
• Offer options, not ultimatums
  • Provide a menu of possible first steps; allow choice and co-design of the path.

If you are in contemplation, your job this month is not to achieve the goal. Your job is to clarify whether this goal truly matters, and why. If your why doesn’t light you up, that may be a signal for you instead to reflect on what would.

Onward and upward!
Katie